“Millennial Problems”
Did you grow up expecting young adulthood to be the time of your life? Were you always told by adults that you are special and that you can do or be anything? Maybe you’re wondering why this does not reflect in your current reality: one of constant stress, confusion and uncertainty about your future. If any of this rings true than you may have found yourself in a predicament common to today’s millennials (those who reached young adulthood by the early 2000s).
When adults in our lives told us we are special and can do anything, they likely had the best intentions! What they didn't realize however, is the pressure that put on our current and future identities. We began to develop expectations for our future based on fantasies we created for the perfect life. Maybe at 12 years old you began internally planning (e.g. constant happiness, perfect marriage, dream job, happy family), then one day you wake up years later wondering, what happened?! Why did things not go the way I planned? I thought I was special? It is not surprising that this realization would bring about feelings of failure, regret, shame and doubt in yourself. If left unresolved, these feelings can lead to deeper states of depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and more. Substance use, disordered eating or other risky behaviors might arise as a way to avoid and cope with negative feelings.
Many young people believe they are going through this struggle alone! But research shows that this is a common pattern throughout the millennial generation. Understanding this generational pattern can provide some relief to the loneliness and confusion you might be experiencing. Try drawing out a timeline of your life and pinpoint moments when expectations or fantasies arose as well as moments in which your life took unexpected turns. A visual representation like that can provide newfound clarity!
The truth is, our reality will never equal the fantasy we created as kids. If it did, that’d mean we could predict the future! It’s okay to have hopes and dreams (and you should!), but life will always play out in its own way. Finding ways to let go of control, of expectations, of fantasies - although scary - can set you free from the misery of a seemingly unfulfilled life. Find the courage to take a step back let yourself surf in the unknown.