Breaking From All-Or-Nothing Mentality Part 2

Last week I talked about my experience as an all-or-nothing/black-and-white thinker. If you can relate, you know this is a difficult pattern to break. Since seeing my first therapist 11 years ago, I have been slowly chipping away at this habit, believing my life will know more peace between the extremes. Though I have made great strides, I know this will be a lifelong pursuit. Don’t let this get your down! We humans are constantly growing and changing, but you get to decide your direction of growth! 

Today, I want to introduce 4 actions that have helped me slow down this way of thinking. If you identify as someone who tends to be all-or-nothing in your thoughts and behaviors, I highly recommend you reflect on and start integrating these actions into your life: 

1. Self-Awareness: Pause throughout the day and bring your awareness to the present moment. Write down any sensations, thoughts, feelings, urges, and behaviors. Be curious and observe as if you were watching the moments of your life on a movie screen. The point is to get to know yourself on a deeper level. With practice, self-awareness will give you space to slow down and make choices instead of reacting. 

2. Patience: Real change never happens overnight. This is the evil trick all-or-nothing thinking plays by telling us we can get results fast if we just push hard enough. We all want instant gratification, but you must resist this temptation. Waiting is uncomfortable, but you will thank yourself later. 

3. Moderation: Resist the urge to go “all-in.” Accept that doing less will ultimately lead to more sustainable results. Write a list of activities to engage in to distract when the urge becomes strong. 

4. Flexibility: Allow space for a change in plans. As much as we try to set a plan or a schedule, life happens and things come up. Morph your goal instead of calling it a failure. 

So yes, these things are uncomfortable, but without them we find ourselves being thrown back into extremes. I challenge you to invite one of these actions into your life today! List your intention in the comments below.